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To The Mom That Feels Left Out

Hey Mama,

I see you over there, with your messy bun and your reheated coffee, staring at your computer or phone. You’re looking at The Cool Mom’s Club aren’t you? You know, that group of mom’s that seems to have it all; the hair, the makeup, the career, the great family life, the everything.

And I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering, “Why wasn’t I invited? Don’t I have what it takes to be a Cool Mom? Why didn’t they choose me?”

Yep. I know you are. Because I’m looking at them too. And I’m asking the same questions. Wracking my brain to understand what their justification could be. Is it because I’m too green? I’ve only been at this for 6ish months, after all… Is it because I’m not accomplished enough? Or maybe I missed the memo on proving myself…  

Their refusal kind of sucks, doesn’t it? It cuts you to your core that you haven’t been accepted into their tribe. You know how I know this? Because I feel it too.

I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. Rejection in motherhood is the knife that cut the deepest. Becoming a mother opens up so many new opportunities, not least of which is the opportunity to bond with other moms.

Making mom friends? Amazing. Seriously, a good mom friend is like a fine wine; you enjoy it slowly, and you savor every last drop. When you find her, hold on to her, and treat her like she’s that gorgeous top-shelf vintage that she is.

But what happens when you don’t get accepted into the Cool Mom’s Club? What do you do then?

Well… if you’re like me, you wallow in it for a few minutes; feeling pissed off and hurt and unworthy of any human interaction for the rest of your life.

… And then you reheat your coffee (again), take a deep breath, and remember this little nugget of wisdom.

When one door closes, another one opens. 

The people who reject you are absolutely useless to your well being. Spending time and energy worrying about what you missed out on with that group of people only wastes even MORE time and energy. By directing that energy towards what could have been, you’re missing out on the beauty of simply being.

You’re also missing out on the opportunity to find out where you truly belong. Your tribe is out there. All you need to do is find them.

Search for them doing the things you love to do. Not sure where to get started?  I’ve compiled a list to get you going.

-Book Clubs

-Online Forums

-Fitness Groups

-Volunteer Opportunities

-Community Education & Recreation Classes

-Painting or Sculpting Classes

-Gardening Clubs

-Early Childhood Education Groups

-Faith Based Gatherings

-Travel Clubs

-Craft Classes

-Kids Playgroups

-Anywhere that piques your interest!

The world is your oyster. The ability to make new friends is yours for the taking. All you need to do is put yourself out there, and you will see friendships blossom.

Listen, I know this is easier said than done. As a lifelong introvert, I’m no stranger to feeling awkward in social situations. Making new friends isn’t easy for me, but you know what else isn’t easy?

Being alone.

Isolation is a cruel mistress, and isolation in motherhood is crippling. To combat isolation, get out of the house and meet people. It’s as simple as that. Even if it’s something as simple as ordering a fresh cup of coffee from your local cafe, just. get. out. There.

Still feeling burned by the Cool Moms Club? Don’t want to get hurt again, but you know you need to do something?

Message me. That’s right. Pop on over to any of the social accounts in my bio, and say hello. I’d love to meet you, and learn all about what makes you YOU. We can even brainstorm ways for you to meet other moms locally.

Being rejected sucks, but it doesn’t mean you are unworthy, or that you deserve to be left out. You are worthy of being recognized. Your presence matters. And I’m excited about the possibility of meeting YOU.

Let’s find your tribe, make new friends, and banish exclusion for good.

What do you say, mama? Are you ready to belong?

Let’s do this.

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