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Hiding in the Bathroom

Ladies, I’m here to tell you about a little something that can be done around the holidays to save your sanity. Some of you may listen to the podcast One Bad Mother, if you don’t, you should. It is basically the most down-to-earth, hilarious take on parenthood you’re going to get. Something the hosts have discussed multiple times as a coping mechanism for the holidays is #hidinginthebathroom. 

It has become a hashtag sensation this time of year and for good reason. Moms, we know how it is. The stress and hoopla of the holidays. You’ve got family, you’ve got cooking, you’ve got a house to maintain, presents to buy, children to chase after. On Christmas day when your kids are bouncing off the walls, your in laws are commenting on the burned crust of your pumpkin pie, and your dog has decided to eat half the Christmas tree and then puke in your bed, there’s #hidinginthebathroom.

It’s a simple concept, and pretty self-explanatory. If you need a break (and when don’t we need a break) you announce that you need to use the bathroom… and then you stay in there as long as you think you can get away with it. This can also be used in instances when there’s a new baby and way too many hands trying to reach for your little bundle who is having a break down and can’t stand the stimulation. A baby is an excellent prop for excusing oneself to the guest bedroom to ‘nurse’ or ‘soothe’ or ‘drink that glass of wine you’ve hidden under the bed’. Even if the baby is calm and well-fed, just say they’re due for a feeding and you’ll be back as soon as their done. This can buy you time for a quick baby-snuggle-cat-nap, larger glass of wine, or general meditation moment.

If the bathroom is where you’ve managed to sequester yourself, just remember wine is easily hidden beneath a sink, behind a shower curtain, or under a tower of toilet paper rolls. Also, easily hidden are trashy magazines and chocolate bars. If you snap a picture of yourself to join the hashtag just make sure none of the people you’re hiding from can see it. 

Bathroom hiding has been done for centuries from mothers all over the world. You’re simply engaging in an ancient tradition passed down from generations. So, stock up your bathroom or guest room with the ‘essentials’ and enjoy a little break from time-to-time. Just remember, if an in law finds your bottle of wine behind the toilet and inquires, say you’ve started using pinot as a tile cleaner. You read about it in Better Homes and Gardens.

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Autumn B

Autumn Bettinger is an outdoor-minded momma with a toddler and a lot to learn. She started writing about her experiences as a way to connect to other mothers and inspire them and their kids to get outdoors. Her blog has since evolved into writings about the day-to-day mom life with sprinkles of environmental education. Turns out, she was going to be an incredibly ambitious backpacking mother... before she had a baby. Now it's everything she can do to keep her son from stuffing leaves in his mouth on walks through the dog park.
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