Not that long ago, I faced something I didn’t expect: a complete pause.

After moving into our new home, I experienced a mental health emergency that landed me in the hospital for a week. It was a wake-up call I didn’t want but desperately needed. For as much as I wanted to keep my usual pace—driving my girls to their activities, writing for several publications, sharing on social media—I simply didn’t have the energy.

So instead, I did none of it.

I came to a complete stop on all of my regular activities and let my body and mind rest. It felt strange at first. Honestly? It felt wrong. I found myself wrestling with intrusive, racing thoughts about being a bad mom because I wasn’t spending much time with my girls. I felt guilty for letting them have unlimited iPad time so I could nap uninterrupted. I felt guilty for not cooking as much, not cleaning as much, not being as present at home, and canceling plans with friends. I even canceled opportunities to speak on behalf of Mom, Wife, Worship Life because I just couldn’t gather the energy to do any of it.

In that stillness, though, I learned something. I needed to give myself grace. To stop beating myself up for doing what my body and mind were clearly crying out for: rest.

One of my doctors said something that stuck with me. He told me to imagine I’d torn a ligament in my knee. Of course I would allow my body the time it needed to heal completely, staying off my leg, being patient through the healing process. But for some reason, we don’t give our minds the same patience and care, even after something traumatic or exhausting.

That conversation changed how I see rest. It’s not weakness. It’s not laziness. It’s necessary. It’s caring for myself so I can continue caring for others.

If you’re anything like me—a mom who feels pulled in a million directions, who always wants to be “on,” who struggles with feeling guilty for slowing down—I want to share a few things I’ve learned about resting without guilt:

1. Redefine What Rest Means

Rest isn’t just sleep (though sleep is important!). Rest is anything that lets your mind, body, and spirit breathe. Maybe it’s a nap. Maybe it’s sitting quietly with coffee. Maybe it’s letting the kids watch a movie so you can close your eyes for a bit. Let go of the idea that rest needs to look a certain way or be productive. Rest, by definition, doesn’t have to achieve anything.

2. Talk Back to the Guilt

When those guilty thoughts pop up—I should be doing more, I’m being a bad mom, I’m lazy—try talking back to them. Remind yourself: Rest is how I keep going. Rest is responsible. Rest is necessary. You wouldn’t shame a friend for needing a break, so offer yourself that same kindness.

3. Accept Help (and Don’t Apologize for It)

One of the hardest things for me was letting go of doing it all myself. But I had to lean on my husband and ask for help with the girls. I let them have extra screen time so I could lie down. I canceled plans, even when it felt awkward. You don’t have to apologize for accepting help or making adjustments so you can take care of yourself.

4. Let Go of Perfection at Home

During this season, my house wasn’t as clean. Meals weren’t as planned. My to-do list didn’t get done. And honestly? That was okay. Your kids don’t need a spotless house; they need a healthy mom. Letting go of perfection doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re prioritizing what matters most.

5. Remember That Rest is an Investment

Resting now is how you show up later. Taking time to heal and recharge is how you make sure you can keep being the mom, partner, and friend you want to be. It’s not wasted time. It’s you making sure you’re here and healthy for the long haul.

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2. Taking the Pressure Off

If you’re in a season where you’re running on empty, where the thought of one more responsibility makes you want to cry, I feel you. I’ve been there.

You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to apologize for needing it. And you’re not failing anyone by pausing to care for yourself.

It’s okay to cancel the plans. It’s okay to let the dishes sit. It’s okay to say not today and lie down instead.

Because you’re not just “the mom,” the chauffeur, the scheduler, the cook, the cleaner. You’re a person. A whole person who deserves the same patience and compassion you give everyone else.

Rest isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Give yourself permission to take it, and leave the guilt behind.