The Story Of Struggle
Would God let us struggle like this?
I am sure someone out there in this big world would have the answer.
The thing is I do not have the answer I am so desperately looking for.
And that is something that is bothering me more with each passing day.
Let me explain this life has me questioning everything currently.
It has me wondering what the hell are we doing.
We are surviving and that is clear to anyone who spends at least five minutes in our home.
I want to do more than survive though, I want to thrive.
I want our family to have success.
And maybe by now you are concerned or wondering what we are struggling with as a family.
Well you see me and my husband have 3 children.
Two of our boys are diagnosed on the autism spectrum and struggle in social situations and pretty much a long list of things.
Life has been complicated for them to say the least.
Our daughter seems to be caught in the middle of what her brothers are struggling with.
Family outings, holidays and adventures are always cut short due to her brothers struggling with the outside world.
Keeping the balance.
Keeping our sanity.
Keeping the tears from falling seems to be impossible lately.
I find myself praying more and more as the days pass.
I find myself talking to the big guy in the sky.
And nothing is the response I get.
No clarity, no silver lining, no answers.
I am angry with God right now.
I am angry that this life is not what we pictured and we are forever surviving.
I do not know if we are getting punished or just this is going to be our forever story.
Regardless of what comes next I wish I knew if God is going to let us struggle like this forever.
It is an incredibly heavy life to carry.