Your Teen Is Craving Control, So Let Them Have It - in Moderation
School is back in full swing! It’s been a season of adjustment as a lot of our teens shifted from a no-boundaries type of summer back into school mode. What does this look like for your family? I want to give you some tips that will help with the transition as your teens take on more responsibility and crave more control.
THEY WANT CONTROL, SO LET THEM HAVE IT.
But hold that thought. You’re still the parent. If you’re paying for their stuff- phone, clothes, they still have to follow your rules. Set up the consequences for stepping over the line. They can still have control when they’re operating within the boundaries.
EASE THEM INTO LIFE SKILLS
Driving, cooking, shopping, budgeting... all of these are important life skills and a great place to practice control. They don’t learn these things overnight, but the promise of more control is just on the horizon for them as they acquire these skills.
LET THEM JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD, FORENSICS CLUB.
But make it their job to keep track of their schedule and accommodate family time. I am all about planners. Control is so much more manageable when they Write. It. Down. In this generation of teens, it is not normal or habitual to use a writing utensil as they’ve been born into a wireless world, however, the more they write, the more they remember.
IF THEY'RE LACKING MOTIVATION, LET THEM DECIDE WHAT WILL GET THEM MOTIVATED.
Autonomy is all about having control. That includes deciding what will motivate them to be the boss and stay on top of their work. When you help them figure out their best practices, they will take these life skills with them into adulthood.
This year is turning out to be one for the history books. It’s going to be momentous for a lot of our teens as well. They need grace for the adjustments, and they’re more than ready to handle it with our help.
by Kelly Biltz, ADHD Teen Life Coach